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| Jessica Alba | Jane Bullard |
| Mike Myers | Guru Pitka / Young Pitka / Teenage Pitka / Himself |
| Justin Timberlake | Jacques Grande |
| Romany Malco | Darren Roanoke |
| Meagan Good | Prudence Roanoke |
| Omid Djalili | Guru Satchabigknoba |
| Verne Troyer | Coach Punch Cherkov |
| Ben Kingsley | Guru Tugginmypudha |
| Jessica Simpson | Herself |
| Kanye West | Himself |
| Deepak Chopra | Himself |
| Rob Blake | Himself |
| Manu Narayan | Rajneesh |
| John Oliver | Dick Pants |
| Stephen Colbert | Jay Kell |
| Director | Marco Schnabel
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| Producer | Roger Birnbaum
Gary Barber |
| Writer | Mike Myers
Graham Gordy |
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Pitka an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge: To settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player whose wife left him for a rival athlete. |
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